Raising kids and juggling the dating world is not easy.
Whether you became single parent out of a divorce, a nasty breakup or the death of a spouse, longing for companionship will eventually weigh down on you especially on those quiet lonely nights you could use some adult company.
However, thoughts of bringing an evil step mum into the lives of your children is scary enough to keep you from trying your luck.
Add to your busy schedule, a vindictive ex and the traumatizing rollercoaster of emotions the whole ordeal put you through.
As much as movies and TV shows try to depict single dads as fun, calm and collected men who have everything in control, that is far from the truth. A lot of time and sacrifice is involved and the person you bring into your life has to understand and fit into your mold.
Question then becomes, who really wants to date a single dad? Well, you may be surprised. Here are some tips on how you can get back to the dating market and how to do it right:
Tell your children: Don’t just ambush your children with a new girlfriend and expect them to be OK. Ease them into your your plan by breaking it down in a way they can comprehend.
Help them see you are lonely and need a partner to fulfil certain needs in your life. While doing so, assure them that they will always comes first and no one can take your love away from them.
Know when to introduce your children: To avoid heartbreaks, confusion and embarrassing situations, avoid introducing your partners to your children too early in the relationship unless you are sure it will lead to something serious like marriage.
You first need to be sure you can trust this person with your most prized possessions-your kids, before bringing her into the picture.
Don’t tell your kids much about who you are dating and just to see if it may be a perfect fit, meet somewhere without telling your kids who the woman is to you and see how it goes. Test how she and the children act around each other.
Have in mind what you’re looking for: As a busy dad you don’t have the time or luxury to play catch up in the dating scene. Define what you want in a partner to cut to the chase.
If you’re single by divorce or a breakup, you already have an idea of the qualities you are looking for and those you don’t want in a woman having learnt from your past.
Balance your time: Never put your children second to go on a date or meetup with a woman. They will read right through your actions and come to the conclusion that they are not of importance to you.
If it is time for you to be with the kids do not schedule dates. Spend the little time you have with them and figure out a way to meet your dates when the children are not around.
Be open: Never keep your children a secret. Instead us this as a filter to separate those who are interested from those who are not. Not every woman is willing to date a single dad and is therefore crucial for you to reveal that from the beginning.
The ones who will choose to stay need to know that your time and attention is divided and that your children come first.
Be honest about the whole situation and how it came to be then leave it to her to decide whether she can handle it or not.
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